Monday, January 06, 2014

Now you Must Go


4 years ago I made this BlogPost, but I was asked to withdraw it because of its sensitive content.  I think now that times have past, it must surely be safe .....

Michel and Marcus are shortly to be "let go". I asked around and here are some of the shocking reasons why, well probably :-)


We are economising here and if we keep you on we'll have to give you that free Christmas 1Kg box of chocolates. Too expensive.

You never skulked off to take time at the coffee machine like other coworkers. This level of non participation is simply unacceptable.

You guys never attended the weekly team meetings. Mind you, we never invited you.

I know alcohol is available at the canteen at lunch. But you are not supposed to buy it and drink it.

We have clear evidence that you broke the sacred IT golden rule, and worked on a Friday afternoon instead of mysteriously disappearing.

The guy in the next cubicle who keeps turning the overhead lights out was right. As a mere contractor you have no right to expect to work in a lighted office.

We do charge you 50% more than regular employees for lunch because you are a contractor. But your response of piling high your lunchtime salad bowl is just bankrupting us.

OK, so somebody stole your laptop. Then your sports equipment from the shower room. Then your special Barbour jacket from reception. Seems like you are kind of careless huh?

Your desk is far too tidy and your filing cabinet too organised. This is clear evidence you are not focusing hard enough on working. Can't you leave a messy desk like other normal people?