Monday, December 02, 2013

Unemployment Survey

Oasis:Sad Song


That is finally it.  Marcus is unemployed.

Naturally this is therefore somewhat of a stressful time. For one it is close to Christmas, traditionally a time of great retail spending, and happiness.  

So to cheer myself up I have conducted a poll of my friends, looking for support.

The results are not encouraging so far:

Marcus Initial Gambit
I seem to have worked all my life. My first paying job came whilst at High School.  I paid my way thru University.  I paid a lot of tax.  I mean millions. How much flippin longer! What should I do now?


We Are Dead
Some close friends have not replied.  They are in fact dead. So either I belong to a very unhealthy demographic or I am getting old. Hmmm.

UK Government - Work dammit
We the UK government would like you to keep working. Despite having contributed more than the current years necessary to qualify for a UK State pension, you belong to the generation who is to support the generations of your idle peers and a high proportion of the overpopulated youthful demographic.

 Swiss Government - Bugger Off
Ideally as a non Swiss you would please just GET OUT of the country so that your Unemployment Insurance is not used.   Else if you can get a job immediately  then you can keep paying us.  We would prefer that please.

We are [Happily] Retired
We suggest you stop working immediately.   Retirement has been the best time of our lives.

But we have Kids
Since you don't have kids you can't possibly understand that we are far too busy looking after the little buggers angels, to give you support

But we have a bigger Mortgage than you
What with all our financial debts [that we entered into], we are far too busy to help you out Marcus, sorry.


But we never worked, why are you working anyway?
Yes, we really don't understand all this working.   Working is for other people, and you [Marcus] have done too much of it already.  Stop right now, and come and join us.

It's Christmas
This is a happy time [for us].  Can you come around with your troubles after Christmas, and apres Ski.  How about February?

Marcus comments: Another job right now is a daunting prospect.  But of course, I will give it 100%  (or 110% in footballers lingo).

It does not make any sense to me, but I'm always told to end on a happy note.  So here we go:
Supertramp:Give a Little Bit of Your Love



Links
Osborne: Work until 70