Sunday, December 29, 2013

Sunday Sermon: Feeling Oh so Old

I am not saying the world would be a perfect place if the following issues were erased.  But to me it would certainly be a more understandable, and I would venture, a better place.

1. Sagging Pants

In our current home of Lausanne, if I knew the good French for "You look like a complete twat and do you need the money for a belt"  I would probably be having more conversations with random, unknown members of the Public

2. Backward Caps
Where do I begin!  If you don't need to keep the sun out of your eyes then wear a different cap like a beanie.   

Even more idiotic than the  backward cap is the sideways cap.

3. Bulk Typing without a Keyboard  (Ipads vs Chromebook)
In the 1970's few people except secretaries could touch type.  By about 1990, and certainly year 2000,  children learnt how to type using all their fingers.  Now suddenly in 2010+ despite this valuable skill; the trend is to carry round keyboardless computers which limit our input to single fingers dancing around the screen a la 1970.  For bulk input use a frikkin physical keyboard!

4. What you, the State and now even the World owes me (regardless)
It is true that as countries develop and become more prosperous; the aims, aspirations and expectations of its' citizens sky-rocket.  But in return for that State provided safety net of assistance and minimum housing, food, and social benefits, the state expects you  a) to become educated b) not to seek to break the law c) get off your arse and actually work whenever possible.

5. Taking Religion too seriously
In England at least the Church of England was; and still is, famous for, well, being flexible.  Not only were most things allowed, but nobody took religion that seriously.  The thought that you were entitled to run over a person, then attempt to hack his head off with a Meat Cleaver, in broad daylight, all because your Religion seriously advocated a Holy War.  Well not in the 21st Century Church of England.

6. About an album per day/week
Listening to or buying 1 new Album per week used to be considered excessive.  Today many listen to the equivalent of over 1 new album per day.  More is not necessarily better.

7. Driving in the Cold Weather
It used to be that with 2 wheel drive, Summer tyres, no ABS, people would still venture onto Snow Filled roads and get to work.  However today even the smallest snowfall has Weather Station reporters advising that you should stay at home.  Just in case your 4WD, Snow Tyre Equipped, electronic Gadget laden car or you; can't take the stress, then; take a day off, why don't you.

8. Social Media
The idea is that whilst at work you might be entitled to spend any time you deem necessary to interact with friends over the Internet using site such as Facebook, LinkedIn, Google Plus/Chat, Twitter. Conversations normally revolve around the smallest trivia in your own life or that you have heard reported about a celebrities life.

9. Calling People Bitch
Using the B-word, the N-word or even terms like sick, repeatedly in conversation.  What does this achieve exactlly?

10. Large Headphones

Wearing large headphones whilst outside running or walking in town.    Please .. no.