Monday, February 19, 2007

When Good cars go bad ... Honda Civic Type HA HA

Yes of course I am nostalgic. And now more than ever. In 1991 I bought new a lovely Silver Honda CRX VTEC. Like the photo. Fantastic car.

The basic specs: Great Handling, 158 BHP at 7600RPM, 970Kg, length 375cm and height 127cm. Sunroof and leather, alloys. Nimble and elegant.

Over the years other cars have come and gone, but trusty Harry Honda has stuck around. This then is the story of initial euphoria and then subsequent disappointment. After a few years of ownership I had decided that a replacment Civic was deserved and eagerly awaited the new model.

Oh woe, they announced a strict 2 seater, with no luggage space, the same engine, and some fancy roof that stowed itself in the boot. It looked like this

No problem, I'll just wait for the next one.

And so the Honda Civic Type R eventually showed up. Here is the brochure. As an affordable hot hatch it wasn't bad but it was so much bigger and heavier than Harry. It weighed a porky 1204Kg was 414cm long , and a lofty 142cm tall (so embarassing they left it out of the brochure).

What happened to the idea of the sleek low sports car? Were they designing the car for overweight, chavs who wanted to race at the lights. This was more of a fat breadvan with admittedly a racebred engine.

So no problem I decided, I would wait just a little longer. As Harry passed his 15th Birthday I was delighted to see in Geneva 2006 the mockup of the new Honda Civic Type R 2007. Here is the brochure.

It now looks like this

But wait a minute, guess what, it is now weighing in at 1267 Kg, larger 427 cm long, and even higher at 145 cm high. And, they thought they'd remove the independent rear suspension just to make sure the car would handle like a real porker.

So where does this leave me? Well I suppose when the Honda Integra Type R came out I should have just bought that straight away. Or just realised that the game has moved on. Honda is now making cars that look sporty but when you dig a little deeper they may just have lost it. I think a Golf GTi 30 with DSG is now both refined, quicker and a better all rounder.
But don't take my word for it have a read of Autocar , Car, March 2007 Evo

Sunday, February 18, 2007

Proof of what can happen if a wife or girlfriend drags her husband or boyfriend along shopping.

This letter was recently sent by Tesco's Head Office to a customer in Oxford:

Dear Mrs. Murray,

While we thank you for your valued custom and use of the Tesco Loyalty Card, the Manager of our store in Banbury is considering banning you and your family from shopping with us, unless your husband stops his antics.

Below is a list of offences over the past few months all verified by our surveillance cameras:

1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's trolleys when they weren't looking.
2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at5-minute intervals.
3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to feminine products aisle.
4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone, "Code 3" in housewares..... and watched what happened.
5. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
6. September 15: Set up a tent in the outdoor clothing department and told shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring sausages and a Calor gas stove.
7. September 23: When the Deputy Manager asked if she could help him, he began to cry and asked, "Why can't you people just leave me>alone?"
8. October 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a mirror, picked his nose, and ate it. 9. November 10: While appearing to be choosing kitchen knives in the Housewares aisle asked an assistant if he knew where the antidepressants were.
10. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously, loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.
11. December 6: In the kitchenware aisle, practised the "Madonna look" using different size funnels.
12. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed, yelled "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"
13. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, assumed the foetal position and screamed "NO! NO! It's those voices again."
And; last, but not least:
14. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited a while; then yelled, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here."

Yours sincerely, Charles Brown Store Manager