You know you've been living in Switzerland too long when

You live alone in a studio and have a cleaning lady
You think getting up early is good
You think Flanagans, the Pickwicks and the Mulligans have a real Irish pub atmosphere
You don't think 15 francs for a glass of coke in a bar is outrageous
You read the Le Matin for news instead of finding a flat, job, or what's on at the movies
You notice how dirty French cars are
You believe the newspaper stand might actually be under surveillance and pay the full 2 francs instead of surreptitiously putting in 20 cents
You think radar cameras painted to look like lumps of cheese make them less oppressive
Beggars annoy you
You buy the most expensive model or variant of everything from razors to cars
You don't think it unusual that you have never met a Swiss who does hard manual labour like road-digging
You don't question why it takes 12-18 months and costs more than a million francs to build a modest residential house
You start to wonder what's wrong when a train is more than a minute late
You put on 300 francs worth of brightly coloured lycra to go for a bicycle ride
You think Swiss advertising is dynamic, clever and subtle
You think it's economically wasteful to have more than one brand of a product in a store
You actually get interested in the local elections
You try to defend cartel based economics to a visitor
You think that plaid jackets with flowery ties don't look that bad
You think it's fair that you can only wash clothes once a month
You wonder why anyone would want to shop outside of working hours
You think it's OK to drive slow on Sundays
You feel like you're broke if you have less than SFr 500 in your pocket
You dress up to go grocery shopping
You understand why Chinese food should cost more than normal food
You prefer Swiss wine
You wish that your town had expensive garbage bags too
You think it's OK for a Chinese restaurant to be run by a Swiss and staffed by Spaniards and Portuguese
You think Thursday night shopping is really convenient
You think that large American cars are 'cool'
You think it's cool to drink expensive imported American beers
You prefer fizzy mineral water to tap water
You throw a party and expect everyone to leave by 11:30pm
You clean up "during" parties
You expect dinner guests to help with the washing up
You begin to understand the subtlety of the Swiss cuisine
You appreciate the differences between the cantons
You feel really hungry if you don't start eating lunch by 12:00
You have breakfast cereal for dinner
You don't mind paying 20 francs for a paperback book
You think that Swisscom approved telephones are better
You buy a new one instead of getting it repaired
You think that 3% unemployment is high
You think it was through its own efforts that Switzerland stayed out of World War II
You consider getting goats and sheep to graze in your backyard
You only eat fondue in winter
You complain to your neighbour about the noise when he flushes his toilet after 10pm
You become interested in the myriad of insurance offerings
You become concerned about the color of your neighbour's curtains
You put Aromat on all your food
You worry about getting a cold when there's a draught
You become offended when reading this